Alcohol....Thy Name is Fresh Breath

So I'm home doing the off-day house cleaning and I catch a commercial about the new type of "alcohol-free" Listerine. 

who needs high-dollar liquor when you have this?!

...okay, where's the fun in that? 

Not as intense, they advertise.  I didn't realize that folks that actually DRANK Listerine were that opposed to the after-effects.  Evidently, I've been missing something.

'Scuse me while I return my beer to the store and bone up on dental hygiene......