Taco Bell is the Least of Our Worries....

I've been following this whole lawsuit story involving Taco Bell.  For those of you who aren't in the know, some firm has brought suit against the fast food chain because they allege that the beef content is less than the USDA allowable amount.  According to USDA standards, a meat product has to be 40% beef in order to be called that.

Waitaminit......


Just 40%?  Does this strike anyone else as gross?  I mean, is there something wrong with wanting my beef to be 100% cow?  My apologies to all my vegetarian & vegan friends.....but I like my meat.

Beef, it's what's for dinner!  But you only need 40%?  Gross....

I started thinking about this topic; and I began to wonder what would happen if we let our standards slip on other things like this.  What if we only worked 40% of the week?  That means you only have to go to work Monday & Tuesday.  Hey, if 40% is acceptable by government standards, then the possibilities are endless.  If we were only required to go to 40% of college then after 1.5 years, you're done.  Howabout if I only pay 40% of my taxes?

....well, nevermind on that last one.  I don't know who's reading this and I don't feel like being Wesley Snipes' cellmate.



So, supposedly, Taco Bell food is even lower that the "standard".  Granted, their brand of fast food rarely enters into my diet; and I have largely deemed it "desperation food".  Indeed, Taco Bell ranks right up there with Waffle House after an all-nighter with your college buds.  Those days are long past for me.....and nothing beats the aftertaste of a Mexican Pizza and Natural Light on the morning after.

When I was a kid, 40% on a test meant "hang your head in shame". Did I miss the memo when this changed?

Anyway, 40% beef.  Eww.  Really, USDA? Is something closer to 100% too much to ask?  This makes me want to move down the street from Ted Nugent and invite myself over for dinner every night.  Taco Bell is being asked to change their ingredient name to "meat filling" because evidently 40% beef is something to be proud of.

If I recall, 40% on a test when I was in school means "you failed miserably".  I think Taco Bell ain't the only ones that missed a passing grade here.

As If I Didn't Have Enough Reason to Eat Healthy......

Sometimes, when I'm running a little dry on material, I'll scan TMZ.com for stories to joke about.  Not since the National Enquirer has any one place been so full of hot mess that it'll make your head explode.  I actually have to ration it out or it'll overwhelm me.

Of particular note is a story about our famous All-American Original, Flavor Flav.  Evidently, he's starting a fried chicken joint.

Really, Flav?  A chicken joint?

Yeah, this face makes me want to eat fried chicken.....talk in permanent slang,  get a grill, go on welfare....

Y'know, I'm strangely reminded of the fact that comedian Eddie Griffin made fun of this kind of phenomenon in the movie Undercover Brother.  Flav, I want to let you know how much I appreciate you resurrecting just about every Black stereotype to come out of the 70's.  I felt my afro growing just watching the commercial.


...and in Clinton, Iowa?  Really?  There are Black folks there?  I'm just saying.......
I remember going to Mankato, Minnesota once and I was practically an event.  Little kids wanted to touch me to see if I was real.

Anyway, best of luck to you, Flav.  Your efforts to revive blaxploitation in edible form will go down in history, I'm sure.  Please remember to put watermelon on the desert menu.

....and in the news today.....

There was a story this morning about a house fire here in Houston that led firefighters to find a marijuana farm.
I hear that it took them all night to put it out....cause they kept going into the house one at a time and running out laughing.

That had to be one hell of a joint.....

The entire unit that went out to this emergency is off today.  They're all at IHOP. 

The actual story is here: http://www.khou.com/news/local/Strange-smells-from-house-fire-lead-authorities-to-103-marijuana-plants--114120324.html

And Now....A Word from our Sponsor......

Y'know, as much fun as it can be to partially chronicle our lives on Facebook, Twitter and through blogs, they are, quite largely, diversions (for those of us not getting paid for it).  At some point you have to step away from the computer, put down the cell phone & get out there and live life.

Come back with a story, be it humorous, touching, or challenging.  Someone out there stands to learn from it.  If I spent ALL my time in front of the computer, I'd never have anything funny to say.  It's easy to get lost in the virtual world, folks....buy we're not virtual people.

Now get out there, enjoy your life, find a challenge, and come back and tell me a joke about it.

Next post will be a funny one....I promise.  ;-)

Putting it Into Perspective

Yesterday, while at work, I received a call from my wife about one of the dogs. See, it was cold and rainy yesterday and when she tried letting the dogs out to potty in the morning, they refused to go.

5 minutes later, there was a pile of dog poo as big as one of the cats on the floor of my son's room.

I was mad at first; but then I decided to take their point of view: no bathroom in the house, it's cold and wet outside and I gotta do #2......

Okay pups....y'all win this round.....

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Unwritten Laws of Science

Did you know that it's an unwritten rule that the amount of food that you have in the house is directly proportional to your child's appetite? 

My kids were here.....10 minutes ago this was full.

If you don't believe me, go grocery shopping and watch your kids' hunger spike until it's all gone.