I didn't care about the lyrics in popular music until I had kids. Nowadays, I'll change the station on the radio faster than you can blink when my kids are in the car and something risque comes on.
I was just thinking to myself how bad things had gotten with the lack of responsibility in lyrics, and then I started to ponder the music of my youth and teen years. The comparison kinda made me laugh.
Let's take a quick trip down memory lane...shall we?
"I Want Your Sex" by George Michael (1987)
Years later, George Michael got arrested for singing "I Want Your Sex" here.
Let's get one thing straight first. I had a love/hate relationship with George Michael's music. This was '87. For heaven's sake, most of us were still in parachute pants (well, I was). George Michael just came out and said "it". It caused all kinds of furor back then. Granted, he went on to make a lot more (and much better) music; but this one REALLY put him on the map. Just imagine a bunch of 13 year old girls singing it. Well, then again, don't.
"I Touch Myself" by the DiVinils (1991)
um, the whole whole song is about, um.....well...you get it. I turn red just thinking about this one. Never mind that it's sung by a well-proportioned red head (much to the chagrin of every male from ages 14 - 40 back then). Yes, they played this on the radio too.
"Sugar Walls" by Sheena Easton (1984)
Ah, you cheeky Brits with your clever plays on words! Sheena Easton is actually Scottish; but in 1984, it was all the same place to teenage Americans. This song was done while she was under (ha, ha) Prince. Since we all know that everything Prince did back then involved sexual references, you can pretty much guess how it went.
I'll feel comfortable explaining to my son what this is really about when he's a sophomore in college. Maybe later than that.
"Funny How Time Flies" by Janet Jackson (1986)
When This album came out, Janet Jackson became a goddess. Every child and teen had "Control", "What Have You Done for Me Lately" and "Nasty" blasting on their boombox. 1986 was the first year that everyone asked "Michael who?" after hearing this gal belt out some serious hits.
Thank you, Ms. Jackson, for making every American teenager want to learn French in 1986
...but, if you go to side b of your cassette tape (yes, I'm dating myself) and listen to the VERY LAST SONG, you'll hear Janet getting it on with someone. There's no other way to put it. I mean, the girl had just graduated from being the adopted little sister on Good Times, now here she is letting some random dude get to 3rd base (or hit a home run if you speak French).
Every song ever done by Vanity
'Nuff said.....
Really, if I say anything about this, my blog will get slapped with an "R" rating.
"Love to Love You Baby" by Donna Summer (1975)
I think this is the theme song for every single adult flick that came out over the next decade. Don't ask how I know that.
I can guarantee you that Ron Jeremy knows all the words to this song.
"Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Vocal Band (1976)
I had to do some digging on this one, and it's still under contention; but let's just say that your parents don't just sit up and watch TV when you leave the house to get groceries...especially when this song comes on.
The 70's were so blatantly sexual that it sometimes makes us look like a bunch of prudes today.
"My Dingaling" by Chuck Berry (1952)
Do I really have to say anything about this one? I don't think this got topped until "I want Your Sex" came out thirty-five years later.
Compared to all this, Rhianna and Lady GaGa may as well be singing gospel. I'll just change the station and stop complaining.
Baton Rouge on LSU game day. Know what this means. The capital of Louisiana can put a pro-game tailgate party to shame.
Have you ever been out drinking on a Sunday afternoon in the middle of Ascencion Parish? I have....and I'm black. I live dangerously. One of the "bars" was literally someone's house.
"Lagniappe" - extra cool stuff that you don't necessarily need. Getting a 52 inch TV is a necessity. The $3000 home theater system to go with it is "lagniappe".
"He needed killin" - a southerner's way of saying that this is our latest Darwin Award recipient.
"down the bayou" - unless you know what's southeast of Napoleonville, LA, don't even pretend to know what "down the bayou" means. Extra points for you if you know how to get to Bourg and Cocodrie.
Gator tail is a delicacy. Sorry, but if you're from Louisiana, you eat that, along with "mud bugs", and other critters. These critters can even include swamp rat (Nutria). I've actually seen "possum pie"; but it hissed at me.
...all you have to do is smell chitlins......once. I have family members that eat that stuff. Sorry, but I can only take things so far. Funny that I can clean the poo out of a bug and eat it (crawfish), but I draw the line at cleaning the poo out of pig guts, boiling them, adding hot sauce and consuming it.
Mudding is a professional sport there. People actually ride around looking for opportunities to pull folks out. I know 3 of them.
If you don't know where "the spillway" is, then folks will automatically know that you're not from there.
Voodoo Fest is a heck of a lot more fun than Mardi Gras.
Know how to get to Pat O'Briens in the Quarter. Know what time Dueling Pianos starts. Know what drink to order while you're enjoying the show.
Forget Winn Dixie. I know how to get to Rouse's and Early's.
I'm listening to Prince and Michael Jackson on Spotify right now. Was just thinking that while both artists are masters of their respective genres of music, listening to them both at the same time is kind of like having glasses of orange juice and milk on the table at the same time.
If you pick up one thinking it's the other, it's gonna taste real funny.
