Watch Your Step!

Those of you that know me know that I teach martial arts part time. 

In martial arts, you learn how to execute a proper stance and how to move across a room in a balanced, efficient manner. 

This is self defense.....self defense against all the crap your kids leave on the floor.

See, I am in mid-swing with the "mother's curse", and yes, my children are as messy as I was at that age.  Sometimes, it's so bad that you do, in fact, have to watch where you step.  This morning, for example, I stubbed my toe on a purple dumbell left in the hallway. 

"sigh"....my mother's curse.

Really?  A dumbell in the hallway?  That's what I need at 6 am.  A sore toe, spilled coffee and a lot of cursing.  If you're a parent, you know what I mean.  Kids leave things.  It doesn't matter where, cause they've found something more interesting to mess with.  The other day I asked my daughter to clean her room.  An hour later I found clothes "put away" on top of her TV.  I guess that makes sense when you're 7.  My son, who is 4, is presently going through a "scared of his closet" phase.  I honestly think this is mainly because of all of the stuff he's piled into it when I ask him to put his toys away.  Even I'm scared to open it. The last time I tried it growled at me.

This whole "watch where you step" thing is compounded by the fact that we also have 4 pets.

Okay, I know what you're thinking....there's is not a "poo poo" issue in this house. 

....but, two of the pets are cats.  Cats get underfoot....especially at 2 am when you're going to the bathroom with the lights off.  I once said in my other blog that it's sport to them....trying to make you trip and break your neck.  Ever hear a cat laugh?

The other two are dogs.  These dogs are new additions to our blended family.  Granted, they fit right in (and they're worthy of their own blog entry one day); but as inside-outside dogs, they also tend to leave a trail......One of them, aptly named Squeaky, will drink water and proceed to leave an entire river of drool behind him when he happily trots away from the dish.  This river is through my wooden-floored living room.

My living room after one of the dogs drinks water.....It's about 10' deep.

Damnit.

Twice I've walked into the front of the house, seen the flood and gone back for my bathing suit to wade through the aftermath.

So, getting back to my original point (like I really had on here); take martial arts....not just for self defense, but to preserve your toes (and your sanity) when you walk through your own home.  It'll also help you keep a cool head when you find a bag of McDonald's french fries that have been in one of your kids' closets for 8 months.

Little known fact: the recent hoopla over the year old happy meal was not an experiment - that lady found it in her kid's room.

'Scuse me while I go navigate through my house......