My Childhood Can Beat Up Yours

On Saturdays, because of the nature of our jobs and schedules, my wife brings our kids to the office so that they can spend the afternoon with Dad while she goes to work.  They usually spend most of this time outside chasing each other when the weather is favorable.  I usually let them run around each other in circles until they fall out.

Makes putting them to bed a little easier, y'know......

The other day, I was watching the two of them play (aged 4 & 7) and I began to think about the things that I did as a kid and how they shaped my adult life.  If you're near my age, do you remember some of those games?  They were not for the squeamish, if you recall; and by today's standards they were probably borderline violent.  I honestly don't think today's kids (even mine) would survive half of them; but childhood was very different back then.

Do you remember "Roll Over Red Rover"?  This was a childhood phrase for "let's clothesline your friends".  A bunch of kids interlocks hands and you try to run through to break the chain.  Inevitably you make the mistake of trying to run through the kid that has the Gi-Joe Kung Fu Grip with one of the other kids and (when you were the short kid like me), you get blunt force trauma to the neck.

....but you shake it off and do it again anyway......

How about "Tackle the Man With the Ball"?  Way back when, it had a much less politically correct name.  Imagine this: toss a football into the air.  Someone has to catch it.  If you are that unlucky sap, run like hell because your former friends are now trying to wipe you off of the planet.  Assuming you survived, you get to throw the ball to your buddies and be one of the attackers.  Cool points are scored by knocking a friend out of his shoes and sending him home crying.

This is essentially the same concept behind "tackle the man with the ball", except you're the only one being chased. 

...and the next day, you apologize, hop on your bikes together and go riding around the neighborhood together.

Now that particular game, when I was a kid, was played EVERYWHERE.  If you couldn't go to the park, you played it in a friend's yard.  If you didn't have a yard, you played it in the street, or a parking lot.  You got bruised, bloodied, and you laughed about it.

....this brings us to my next favorite.  "Spread Eagle".  This game was essentially dodge ball with executioner's rules.  The abridged version goes like this:

• Find a wall - when I was a kid, the outdoor wall of an apartment complex, bordering the parking lot was usually perfect.
• Get 4 - 6 tennis balls.
• Line up anywhere from 4 - 6 kids. 
• You have ONE person throwing.  The others dodge like their lives depend on it (because they do).
• If you're the unlucky kid that gets hit with a tennis ball, the rest of your so-called buddies all get a ball of their own, you "spread eagle" on the wall and everyone gets a free shot at you.

....seriously, we actually looked forward to this game.......

Not even these guys would survive the version of Dodge ball I used to play.

I could go on, but my point is that childhood games sorta toughened you up a bit.  They're never played anymore either.  The only time we played touch football is when they made us play it in school; and everyone thought it was silly.  Football was played without pads, at the park, and usually right after it rained.  When you tackled someone, you tackled them like they owed you money and cursed your mother.  Then you all got up and laughed about it, assuming that everyone's still breathing.

When I was a child, McDonald's didn't catch heat for fattening our kids because our parents could never catch us to actually go to McDonalds.  We'd spend the entire day at the park if you let us.  We'd climb trees and fall out of them.  We'd jump our bikes over sewage ditches (and sometimes not make it).  We would catch snapping turtles (yes, actual Alligator Snappers) with our bare hands.  We'd get hurt and have stories to tell on the next school day. 

Childhood was an adventure back then.